Dear blog,

As much as I say I left my husband because I couldn't allow him to live a life trying to be something he would never be, I now know that I also meant it for myself. I didn't want to live a life trying to be someone else's great love when I felt that the one I really belonged with was still out there.

It can't be forced. 

It either happens or it doesn't. 

What would make me happy right now?

Midnight Ride

Heaven in my heart 

I've got a lot on my mind

Driving all night long

On any road I find

It takes a lot of soul to move

And a lot of soul to stand

A lot of me the woman

A lot of you the man

I see a lot of sights with eyes

I see a lot of sights with spirit

Driving all night long

Never getting near it

It's all that soul it takes to move 

And all that soul it takes to stand

All of me the woman

All of you the man

Blog: Why are you here?

Me: I'm a writer.

Blog: What do you write?

Me: Mostly words.

Everyday hike...

Sometimes I am lost in the forest of my mind.

Intertwined in the vines I'm confined in this bind.

Traveling long and I'm weary and tired. 

Abused by the journey, the path, and the brier. 

Trekking the miles as time marches on. 

I am gone and unknown and alone in the dawn.

Surviving or dying or either or and hoping for strength to weather the storm.

Foraging for food for mind, body, soul.

Cold is setting in and I am getting old. 

Shelter is welcome but not easily found, so I look to the heavens before I'm in the ground. 

My natural habitat has become a foreign land. 

I understand it was not planned but I am sinking in quicksand. 

I started the fire and the flames danced for me.

Through the trees there's a breeze and my chance to be free.

Maybe I'll be back...

I suck at my comeback. I've been gone all week. But to be fair, I've also charged myself not to write about a certain something that has been on my mind. I'm not sure if I'm better off for keeping it in or if I'm only setting myself up for an explosion. Or implosion. Or any sort of plosion. 

Everything feels like a science experiment lately. Like lessons on chemistry and biology. I can't tell whether or not I'm failing, but I do feel the pressure of the test. I suppose after all of my studying I am as prepared as I'll ever be. I just hope I don't blow anything up. 

If tears were wishes granted...

I wish I could cry for 10 years straight.

Drown the ages.

Drift with the tides of deep blue feelings.

Another decade washed away.

I wish I could scream for 100 years.

Echo 100 more across the valleys.

Tiny vibrations along the Big Bang.

Another century goes deaf.

I wish I was yours for 1,000 years.

Everyday before and everyday beyond.

I have cried and I have screamed.

Another day is done.